If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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