At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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