Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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