tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
