How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
