my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
