This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize