i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
