You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
