Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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