i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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