Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
