I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize