He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
