check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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