I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
