So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
