just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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