he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
