stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
