Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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