Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
