I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize