So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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