Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
