I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
