I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
