I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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