She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
