Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
