people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
