I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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