Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
