Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
