I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
