I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize