508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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