i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
