I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We're too hungover to prance.
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