i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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