Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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