Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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