the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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