Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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