At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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