Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
