so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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