I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
