Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
