Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize