But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
