The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
