I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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