using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just threw up on my dentist
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
