so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
