What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
