"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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