i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
