That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize
