we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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