I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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