it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
