Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
someone owes me an orgasm
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
