i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Buhtt sex?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
